If you would have told me 3 years ago that I’d live in Boston for the next two years of my life, I would look at you and say you’re crazy. I always knew I was meant to do something out of the ordinary, but Boston? That wasn’t on my agenda. I was a confused student at Eastern Kentucky University wondering if this is really what I should be doing. I was asking myself, “Am I only here because it’s close to home? Because this is the school a lot of my friends are at? Am I wasting my money? Am I actually happy?” SOO many questions raced my mind. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do something about it. I didn’t feel happy. I loved the atmosphere and seeing familiar faces.. but something was off. One day in the midst of all the stress I had from college, I decided to look up photography schools. First in Kentucky, then the surrounding states, and finally around the world. This was me just wanting to fill my curiosity, not knowing that in 8 months I’d be moving to Massachusetts.
In April of 2018 I was accepted into New England School of Photography in Waltham, Massachusetts. Waltham is a town right outside of Boston. By the end of August 2018 I had packed up, filled my car and was ready to go. The moment I got in my car, put my seatbelt on, and started to leave, tears filled my eyes. In just a matter of minutes I went from being in the comfort of my family and familiar territory, to pulling out of my driveway and looking at my house disappear through the trees until I had no choice but to look forward. Pure terror, doubt, and sadness. I’m not going to lie, I truly thought about turning around. I remember saying out loud, “I can’t do this” in the silence of my car with all of my belongings behind me. That was the hardest part. Not filling out the application, not making the decision to go to a school 14 hours away, not the planning, but to actually be in the moment of I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this right here, right now.
Finally, the nerves went away (only a little bit) the doubt turned into “just do it” and the sadness turned into excitement. I was finally on my adventure to do what I know I was meant to do. After driving for 7 hours, I stopped in Buffalo, New York to rest for the night. I never knew driving could be that tiring. The next morning, my first thought was, “I’m going to be in Massachusetts today.” It was such a strange feeling. I was going to be at the place I had been dreaming about for months. Another 7 hour drive and I finally arrived.. and trust me I KNEW I was there. Traffic was intense, car horns so loud I couldn’t think, cars just a few inches away, so close I thought I was going to get hit at any moment. It was terrifying for me, especially someone with diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder. That was a moment I will never forget. I eventually got out of that mess and closer to my apartment. I had looked it up on google maps so I knew what to look for. Another strange feeling, being right in front of the place I was going to call home. I was exhausted, scared, nervous, and just wanted to sit down with my thoughts for a moment. I met one of my roommates and she helped me pack my stuff inside. Then we walked down the street to a pizza place where I could start to wind down. We talked a lot, and I soon realized the differences between me, a small town girl in the country and a girl that grew up in the city. We were both fascinated with one another. Telling stories, asking questions and figuring each other out. You don’t realize just how different your way of living is until you enter into someone else’s turf. We were both learning so much and we had just met.
The next morning I woke up on my mattress on the floor, sunlight coming through the windows, the sound of cars going by, and boxes surrounding me. I decided I wanted to spend the day making my room as cozy as I could. I was still in shock that I was even there, it didn’t feel real. That feeling lasted for two weeks, maybe longer. I had days where I felt brave enough to go outside and walk around to see what was close by, and days where I was scared to leave my room. I had a few phone calls with my family just crying because I already missed them and I felt really alone. I was scared to go anywhere, because driving in that traffic again made me sick. So I didn’t eat much. I lived off of chips and salsa and 7 Eleven sandwiches. Netflix was my best friend, I would write in my journal about how I was feeling and I slept. A lot. I felt so small. Like the city would chew me up and spit me out with no hesitation. It was a rough start.. but I got through it. I made even the smallest of things a victory. Going to Target was a big accomplishment for me. It sounds silly and honestly I chuckled just typing that, but it was true.
Once I got settled and started to feel more comfortable, it was time for school to start. Orientation was up first and I got to finally go inside my dream school. It was an amazing feeling walking through those doors. I instantly felt at home. I took a quick look around at the other students and wondered who I would be friends with by the end. The first day of school rolls around and I sit down in my first class. Of course the first thing we do is go around the room and say our names, a little bit about ourselves and what we like to shoot. Right then i knew I was going to love this school. The room was filled with creative people that are here for the same thing I am. They understood. When it was my turn to speak, my southern accent seemed to turn some heads. This was the East Coast, it’s not everyday they hear a super southern Kentucky girl talk. It didn’t bother me that some people laughed. I knew that would be something I’d be remembered by. Sure enough, by the first few weeks I was “Kentucky” or “Haley Kentucky” and I honestly loved it, not gonna lie. It made me different, and made for a good conversation starter as soon as I opened my mouth and the southern came out. I already loved this school and the people in it. We were already becoming a family.
Someone recently asked me, “How do you like, do photography school?” And I truly do not know where to even start to answer that. I had so many different classes, assignments, deadlines, tests, and challenges that I had to face. Just because it’s an art school, does not make it easy. I had grades to maintain just like everyone else, except everything was related to photography. I could go into detail about each class and I promise you would get bored pretty quick, so I’ll just say we started from the absolute basics of how photography came to be, to advanced skills of being a professional photographer. Everything in between that is an information overload. I learned more in the first week of school than I had working as a photographer for 4 years on my own. Not only about photography, but also about how to run a successful business. Truly, the photography part is the easiest. I always tell people it’s 10% photography and 90% other responsibilities. Being in the creative field is tough. It takes a lot of hard work that doesn’t always get acknowledged, patience, and your entire heart. This is my job. This isn’t a hobby, or something I do on the side. This is my career and i work extremely hard to get better everyday. To stay inspired. To create images for people that they can look back on and remember the feelings, emotion, and happiness they had in that moment with the people they love more than life.
